Where are my knickers?


Three year old Bulbul was smiling at her father. She was enjoying the cool water in her bathing tub. Her father was also enjoying the toddler’s antics. He realizes that even he needs a bath. He asks his wife to take care of Bulbul while he takes his shower.

It is a hot April Sunday Morning. Erhan switches the radio ‘on’ and then does a ten minute Disco slash Elvis routine while taking the shower. Shining like a newborn baby Erhan comes out of the shower and starts looking for his underpants. After a while he gets frustrated and screams at his wife to get him a pair. Nobody responds. He realizes that nobody is at home. The phone rings. He picks up the phone. It’s his wife.

Gaytri – Oh my god! (gasping)

Erhan – What? What happened? Where are my undies?

Gaytri – I was just looking…

Erhan – Where are you and where is Bulbul?

Gaytri – Oh my god they are going to… have to operate

Erhan – Did something happen to her?  Where are you?

Gaytri – I am at the City Hospital. Bulbul ate your silver locket. It’s stuck in her throat.

Erhan – Oh My God! I will be there in a minute



Erhan hangs up the phone. He quickly picks up a pair of keys and his wallet and rushes out of the house while still wearing his bathrobe. He stands near the road for a taxi. He realises he is wasting his time waiting for one. The hospital was 10 km away. He gets restless. He tries to get a lift, but nobody stops. As he becomes more restless, he starts to run. He runs for a while but then falls on the footpath. He realises how fat he has become.

Erhan “dam it! I am not gonna eat junk food any more”.

He uses the corner of his bathrobe to clean his sweat as he leans on the wall of the shady side of the sidewalk.

Erhan’s eyes gleam as he sees a pizza  guy parking his motorcycle. The man is busy unpacking the pizza from the box into his backpack while the keys are hanging from the ignition. Erhan without a moment’s hesitation runs towards the guy and passes him by.

“No, no I am not a thief” – Erhan mumbles to himself.

He crosses the road and stands at the corner signalling for a taxi to stop.  He is about to enter it when a woman pushes him and enters.

Erhan “Hey, listen it’s an emergency”

The woman “Well, I have an emergency too”

The taxi driver “ he came first”

The woman “Oh, look at him, do you think he is going to pay you”

The taxi driver looks at him and says “Well, why are you in a bathrobe?”

Erhan “It’s a long story, my daughter is in the hospital, I need to rush, here you can take all my money”. Erhan searches for his wallet but can’t find it. He looks at the taxi driver in disbelief and then at the woman.

The woman “And how amusing is that”

Erhan “Oh! No! It must have fallen when I fell on the footpath”.

The taxi driver “Buy some clothes first, if you find that”

The taxi leaves and Erhan is left wondering what to do. Tears roll out of his eyes and mix with his sweat.  He wipes them off and starts walking and then starts running. All of a sudden he turns back and runs towards the pizza guy’s bike. He hides behind a nearby wall. The pizza guy comes out of the nearby building and starts the bike. Erhan looks disappointed.  Suddenly the pizza guy’s bike stops. He takes out a cell phone and starts talking. Erhan waits for him to finish talking. In the meantime Erhan looks around to see if no one is watching him as he picks up a stone. He stands next to the pizza guy. The pizza guy calmly puts his phone in his pocket. Then he sees Erhan standing next to him.

Pizza guy –“what’s up with the bathrobe?”

Erhan picks up the stone and is about to hit him but then changes his mind.

Pizza guy – “and why are you holding that stone”

Erhan “can you tell me if it’s a limestone”

Pizzas guy “what?”

Erhan “ I am really sorry, I can’t do it”

Erhan throws the stone and holds his face in shame as he leans on a nearby wall. The pizza guy leaves his bike and pats on his shoulder.

The pizza guy “hey man what happened, why are you crying all of a sudden”

Erhan “please help me”

Pizza guy “what’s the problem”

Erhan “my daughter is in the hospital, I don’t have any money, I need to get to her soon, it’s an emergency”

The pizza guy “Oh that’s sad! Not a Problem I will help you!

Both begin to walk towards the bike.

The pizza guy (while walking) “But why were you holding that stone in your hand?”

Erhan pauses

Pizza guy “you weren’t going to hit me with it? Were you?”  he laughs while saying this to Erhan

Erhan “but I didn’t, I am not a bad guy

The Pizza guy backs off as he sees something in Erhan’s eyes. The pizza guy starts to run screaming “help, help” as Erhan follows him. Erhan eventually catches the guy and closes his mouth. The two wrestle for a while in the alley floor.

Erhan “don’t scream I am not a bad guy, I just want the keys to your bike”

Pizza guy “I don’t believe you! Leave me please”

Erhan “I swear I’ll return them to you,Please give them to me.

They wrestle for a bit and then Erhan asks him “Now where are they?”

Pizza guy looks towards the bike and so does Erhan. The keys are hanging from the ignition.

They race till the bike. Erhan eventually wins as he pushes the frail pizza guy. He rides the bike away leaving the pizza guy running behind him screaming for help.

At the hospital

Everything in slow-motion from now onwards to the track “M83 — In Church [Cyann & Ben cover]”

Erhan reaches the hospital. He talks to the receptionist. His wife is waiting in the gallery in front of the operation theatre. He is walking towards her.  He sees the doctor coming out of the theatre and talking to his wife.  He pats her back. Her eyes are misty. She holds Erhan and cries aloud. The doctor looks at him in disappointment. He says to himself “ No, No” . He leaves his wife in the hallway and rushes inside the operating theatre. There are nurses and surgeons trying to recover Joanna. The cardio machine shows that she has no pulse. He tries to grab hold of her but everybody is holding him back.

Fade to black

In title card “Something’s are beyond our control. Sometimes bad things happen to good people.”

Credit Roll


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